Pick yourself up, buttercup.

As week six of isolation draws to a close, I’ve had a think about the past few days, and for me they have definitely been some of the trickiest.

The week started off well, I did some planting in the garden and squeezed in a bit of yoga most days, but somewhere around Wednesday it all started to go a bit downhill.

As I’m sure is the same for many others, working from home is not ideal. There are lots of distractions, your work station is too close to the snack cupboard and the temptation to plan a 2021 holiday is much stronger than the temptation to finish up an essay. The excitement of not having to go to work has worn off and each day is feeling pretty samey.

Normally I focus on the walk I’ll have later in the day or spend an hour in the garden before I refocus, but this week it rained a lot, and everything felt endlessly miserable. It’s all well and good to focus on the weekend but when you’ve lost the ability to tell your Mondays from your Fridays that’s a pretty difficult task.

Here comes my big positive but (yes, I did just say that, it’s the little things people). It is week six of me remaining safe in my home. Week six of all my family and friends staying healthy. Week six of thousands of key workers continuing to do their jobs, often to their own detriment, which is a debt we can never hope to repay. Week six of me needing to buck my ideas up and realise that while it is okay to feel uneasy, I have to remember that I am incredibly lucky to be so safe right now.

This post will be short and sweet, but I’m hoping that it will serve as a reminder for anyone having a bad day, that while it is terrifying to be living through a pandemic, the point is we are living through it. At some point it will end. The great majority of us will live to see the end; we’ll be back in the pub, jumping on flights for weekend breaks and generally walking down the street without having to throw ourselves into incoming traffic to avoid the pedestrian approaching who clearly does not give a shit about social distancing.

But for now, if you are in need of a reminder that it will all be okay (and if the big, positive but joke didn’t do it for you), today is going to be a good day and here’s why:

• There are endless recipes to be baked, cooked, blended, failed, and retried, until we’re all suitably fat and happy. I lost at bingo twice this week and as a result I have to whip up something excellent for the winners – let’s hope I don’t run out of flour, or eat all the chocolate chips before Monday.

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Presentation in my case is definitely not everything- most of carrot cake icing ended up on the floor and I accidentally overcooked my brownies so they were in fact very small cakes, but it’s the taking part that counts!

• Take advantage of your daily walk. Cooping myself up in the house makes me feel like a straight up crazy lady – go the park, go round the block, go to the grass verse outside your house! Just go somewhere that isn’t your bedroom because for one thing we all need fresh air, and for two, you’re sure as hell not going to catch a tan under your duvet.

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I don’t have a dog so seeing some excellent puppies in the park always cheers me up. If you’re not a fan of puppies I cannot help you.

• If you’re lucky enough to have a garden there are hundreds of seed varieties than can be ordered online. They’re all pretty inexpensive and you can spend hours pretending you know what you’re doing and planting them anywhere you fancy. Plus, if the apocalypse really does come, you’ll be fully stocked up on radishes by mid-June.

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Aldi’s finest flamingo meets the most ridiculous home-made pigeon scaring device, no one needs those chubby buggers eating their freshly planted carrot seeds.

• Don’t underestimate the power of a very bad quiz. Yes, we’re all sick of being asked what the longest river in the world is and no, we still can’t remember the answer but your pals need you as much as you need them. So, write a shit quiz and subject them all to it for an hour- popular rounds for me have been guess the partner (Waitrose themed obviously), and gap year antics – be original!

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At least if you’re drinking on zoom, you’re not drinking alone (kind of).

• As a last resort, if you really need a laugh, you can attempt your very own dye job. This was a questionable choice of mine and admittedly it’s more orange purple than the grey purple I was aiming for, but it gave my dad a good chuckle. Little does he know his very own blue dye arrived this morning.

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You don’t have to try everything, you don’t have to like everything you try and you are allowed to acknowledge that you feel sad about the way the world is right now. Just as long as you take the time to remember that it will heal. Everything is not okay, but at some point it will be and for now I’m going to focus on that.

There is good and bad with everything: I’ve started my dissertation, I’ve cried at least twice a week, I’ve worked out more than I ever have in my life, I’ve done over fifteen quizzes, I’ve given up with one jigsaw and I’ve really, really missed my friends.

Today I did not feel okay at all, but giving myself the room to recognise that I don’t have to feel bright and positive all the time helps me breathe a little easier. And reflecting on what I do have and can do, definitely picks me back up again.

We all are powerful enough to pick ourselves back up again, and if you don’t feel powerful enough, reach out to someone who can pick you up instead. Some days are hard, but if you need picking up, send me a message and I’ll give it my very best shot – I’ve got all the time in the world.

Scary that this is the new normal sign off, but I hope everyone is staying safe and staying sane.

Thanks for reading,

Bea x

P.S. A special thanks out goes to my excellent friend Thomas, for encouraging me to throw myself into something that I love again. We can all use this time to catch up on the things that usually have to take a back seat in our hectic lives. Everyone needs a friend like Thomas.